I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The ass gains better be worth it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize