I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
