from now on my penis is your penis
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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