i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
