His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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