I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
