I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
