Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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