I wish you could order shots online.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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