apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
