Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize