This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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