Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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