She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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