I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
