ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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