HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
