Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
