Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
