butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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