i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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