in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
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he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
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You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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