i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
