i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
