During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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