if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think my moral compass just broke
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