do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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