You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
