i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
