"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dignity is for republicans.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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