Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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