Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
