haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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