I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
