Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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