good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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