the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
