I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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