I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
