just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
