its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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