I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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