im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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