never play flip cup with pint glasses
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
