when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
