Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize