Don't you send me to vm
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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