I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize