He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
