Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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