"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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