just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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