i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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