I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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