and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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