the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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