dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
