My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
