I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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