xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
