talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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